Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Law School Applications

I'm in Delhi, so I thought I would revive Delhi diaries for a bit. However, this post is not about Delhi. This post is about my writers' block/inability to talk about myself in personal statements. I've been trying to work on personal statements for law school but I find myself absolutely unable to write them well. This is similar to the problem I encountered when writing personal statements/application essays for undergraduate admissions.
So I'm trying to address this problem by first being very clear on what I want to write about and then getting to the how of it. I know, for instance, that I want to talk about my intersecting identities as Indian and gay. I want to talk about how the two identities have sometimes led to identity struggles with one group or the other, resulting in my never "quite" fitting in, but still doing quite well. One issue, however, is that I tend to detach myself too much from my writing. I find it hard to show, instead of tell. So, for someone that doesn't know me, how do I manage the tasks of being both descriptive and reflective about my life, so as to convey a sense of who I am to adcomms who will likely be reading thousands of essays in a few short months? I think part of the trouble is that I tend to freeze/become more detached when I know my writing will be evaluated -- or rather, when I know that my writing will be used to judge ME.
Now, I know what not to do:
1. Don't be bland and boring.
2. Don't re-state things from your resume.
3. Don't tell; show.
However, I'm doing all the things I should NOT be doing because I'm so worried about what I am writing.
I was going over some old blogs and Facebook notes and I can tell I can write quite well when I'm not under pressure. For instance, right now, I feel like I am incapable of critically analyzing my life and what significance certain events/aspects of my life have, either for me or in a broader context.
I'm blogging this in an attempt to get my thoughts together, but even now, I'm just failing.
Some people have read over the crap that I've written so far, but while their comments are useful, it's nothing that I don't already know. The trouble really is that I know it but I just can't seem to write any better right now. I'm not a poor writer! I don't know what happens to me with these things.
Someone help me please!